As you all know, I have started coaching the freshman basketball team at MountainView. The last two years I was coaching middle school COBO for Mountain View. On the Sunday before my first practice, Coach Reid asked me to come to COBO tryouts and pick the 6th grade team because the 6th grade coach was out of town and couldn't do it. So I went in on Sunday afternoon and ran tryouts and I could clearly tell which 12 guys should be on the team. I went over it with the 8th grade coach and he agreed that it was right. I went and told Reid that I had it down to 12 and I asked him if he wanted me to read off the list to the kids or if he wanted to do it. He told me that I could do it, but he told me to make 100% sure that I had my list perfect so I didn't read off any wrong and give someone the impression that they made it when they didn't. So I checked my list like ten times to make sure it was right and then went up in front of the kids to read off the names. Right before I did, Reid came up and said that he wanted to point out one kid that made the team (side story: I have been working with this kid Alex Burton during the summer and fall and he got cut from last years team and wanted to make it this year. He improved a ton and is one of the top 5 or 6 guys on the team this year.). He talked about how Alex got cut last year and wasn't even close to making it and how he put in a lot of work and got way better. He then announces the name Alex Burton and points to this kid Dominic. Now, this wouldn't have been a problem if Dominic made the team, but he was the complete opposite. He made the team last year and we cut him this year. Coach Reid realized it was the wrong kid and pointed to Alex, but Dominic still thought he made the team. He had me come up and read off the names of the kids who made it and Dominic started balling. He ran over to his mom and she chewed out Coach Reid. It was hilarious! In a "wow I feel bad for this kid, but Reid did exactly what he told me not to do" kind of way. That is my first of many basketball stories yet to come.

Mom, I haven't posted here in a while because my life was boring and now it is less boring. Elizabeth got mad and me and freaked out, so I had to write something to keep her happy. I started school yesterday and I am taking 3 math classes and an evolution class. I know what you are thinking about the 3 math classes and it is going to be sweet. I have like 5 people in all of my classes and I just sit around and listen to them act like they are really smart and get shut down by the professor. I just sit and laugh. I wrote about evolution before and that will be interesting for me to be in that class with a bunch of people who think that we came from black holes. I don't think the class will be about black holes, so that is why I am in it. I will be able to listen to how things evolve because it is obviously fact, but I will have a few days where I want to shoot myself in that class. I started my new job today at the gym at COCC. I worked a 3 hour shift and worked for literally 15 minutes. I sit around at a desk while people come and get towels from me and ask me random questions that I pretend to know the answer to. I get paid $9.20 an hour to do nothing, it is my dream job. I wish I didn't need to be in school to have this job becuase I would drop out of school and turn it into my career. I haven't heard anything about the freshman coaching job as far as applying and interviewing, but I have had some random people that would only know from talking to Reid that have said that they heard that I was doing it, so I feel better about that. I know that wasn't entertaining like it is supposed to be, but I thought you guys might like to know.

I was flying home from California today (on an airplane, I don't know what else I would be on, but I don't want to lose anyone) after visiting my girlfriend Sean who many people who read this do not know and we can talk about it later if you are interested. I went into the lavatory while we were in flight. I go in and turn around to lock the door and notice that there is a sign on the door that says "Any tampering of smoke detector will result in a $2200 fine" or something along those lines. Then I look down a little bit further and it says "There is no smoking on this plane" and little pictures of cigarettes with a slash through them. Then I look down a little bit further and there it was, right before my eyes...a slot for your cigarette butts. Perfect! Why are the airlines telling these addicts not to smoke, but providing them with everything they need to do it (ventilation system through the toilet and an ash tray). It is like giving a crack addict a pipe and telling him not to smoke, when chances are he has crack on him. I am not mad or anything because I don't really care, but is there honestly a reason for that? I am home safe now and after the cigarette in the lavatory I am way more relaxed, but I just thought that everyone should be aware of the culture we live in.

Last Sunday, Pat and I were driving to Larkspur (this park on Reed Market that we play basketball at sometimes). I was driving on 27th (45 mph) and I got to that light behind Safeway and was at the crosswalk before I realized that the light was red. Not only that, but there was a car in the intersection. I don't know why I wasn't paying attention to the road because I wasn't messing around with the radio or on my phone, I just spaced out I guess. Anyway, as soon as I realized the light was red I slammed on the brakes and cranked the wheel to the right. I started sliding sideways right at the other car and I was about 5 feet away from it when I took my foot off the brake and swerved out of the way. I ran straight up onto a curb and missed a light pole by about 5 feet. As soon as I realized what had happened Pat said, "hey, there is a cop behind you." I figured that my life was over and that the cop would cite me for 10 different things and I would be in debt for years. I pulled into the Safeway parking lot and the cop pulled in behind me. He asked me for my license and registration and talked to me for a second and then went to his car. He comes back with a citation for running a red light for $250! That is it! Talk about being blessed, I almost killed myself and two other people, totaled my car and someone elses, and got cited for thousands of dollars in fines. I came away with a ticket for $250 that the cop said I should be able to get diversion school for. Can you believe that? It was insane. I still can't believe it.

As some of you know, I went to Ashland/Medford this weekend for a 3-on-3 basketball tournament with my roommate Chris' friends Tim and Eddie. We had two games on Saturday and after the two games we were pretty hungry, so we went to Senor Sams (that is supposed to be in spanish). Eddie said that I should eat the "Biggest Burrito" that they serve there because if you eat it all, they give you five dollars back if you eat the whole thing by yourself. It sounded like a challenge that I was up to, so we both ordered it. Then Tim said that if I ate a large Cold Stone Creamery ice cream along with the burrito, that he would give me another $5. I rarely back down from a challenge, so I was aiming high. When I ordered my burrito, the lady started putting it together and it was two large tortillas next to each other with meat, cheese, lettuce, beans, salsa, sour cream and rice packed in so that she couldn't even shut the burrito. She put it on a huge platter that was about a foot and a half and the burrito went from end to end of it and it was probably 10 inches around. She said that it was the size of two and a half normal burritos from there and they are pretty big. Eddie finished his in about 15 minutes, it was incredible, the thing just disappeared. Right after he finished, he headed into the bathroom because he thought that he was going to throw up. I was trying to get it down as fast as possible so that I could finish it before my mind realized that I was full. Apparently I have poor eating skills because I had trouble getting the food from my plate to my fork to my mouth. It took me about 25 minutes and to my surprise, I wasn't full. I ate like a 6 lb burrito and I felt fine, so I said "let's go to Cold Stone." We went over there and I at a large peanut butter ice cream with peanut butter cups in it and finished it with no problem. After I was done, still probably could have eaten another regular burrito. I was in a zone. That experience made me rethink my life and I realized that my real calling in life is to be a professional eater. I ate that much food without any training (and I haven't been eating a lot lately anyway) and I didn't feel sick, that is a gift. I am quitting school and work so that I can work on my speed and technique. I would appreciate support from all of you in my endeavor.

I know that all of you guys know about the Cougar Pageant. Jake won it his senior year and I am sure that I lost to Simon by the smallest of margins when I was in it (I mean come on, I did "Thriller"). I went to it this Thursday with Jeff and Pat. I sat next to Lori, Ashley, and Alyssa Crawford (Shawn was at basketball). They are all doing well, but that is not the good part. They started out with some slide shows of contestants and Colman had me in his slide show, so he should have won right there, but no. Emily McMahon's little brother Pat was in it and he was next up in the talent segment and the MC said that he heard that Powerline was going to be here. I almost pissed myself because I knew it was going to be sick. They opened up the curtains and Pat has his back to the crowd and is wearing a yellow jump suit. Then "I 2 I" comes on and he turns around and is wearing these sick red sunglasses and proceeds to dance amazingly to the song while lipsyncing(?) to it. His moves were incredible, but then I heard the music change and I was wondering what could possibly be better than what he was dancing to. It was "Everybody" by the Backstreet Boys and two girls came out and danced with him in sync perfectly to the dance sequence in the actual music video, only they switched it a little and it was better. I almost crapped myself. Then the music changed again and it was "It's Gonna Be Me" by NSYNC! Then they do the dance from that video perfectly! It was the most amazing thing I have ever seen, I wish I had it on video so that I could watch it on my computer every day. I am going to try to put the actual music videos on this, but if it doesn't work you should find them on you tube. The dance from "Everybody" is at about 3:45 and "It's Gonna Be Me" is at like :45. I wish that you all could have been there, if you don't believe me than ask Mom.
"Everybody"-http://youtube.com/watch?v=vM0ALaY7X-Q
"It's Gonna Be Me"-http://youtube.com/watch?v=v7yxpTvvB9U

The night these pictures were taken; Joey (safety vest), Greg (pink shorts, yes they are the same ones), and I (too sexy) went out on the town. We went to clubs and stood out in front of them and hit on young and middle aged women. We would ask them: "have you ever kissed a man with a mustache before?" or "is it hot in here or just our mustaches?" and things of that nature. As you can imagine, there were many women flocking to be with me. Yes, I was offered by a woman to go home with her (don't ask me what she was smoking). In downtown Bend there is a restaurant called "Mirenda," it is one of the more popular and upscale places to eat in Bend. We were walking by and we saw that there was a huge window facing the street in this place and when we walked by people were staring at us. Joey and I decided to make the best of it and take turns walking back and forth in front of the window trying to top eachother's sexiness. We started with some simple things like dropping our keys and bending over to pick them up and making eye contact with women while passing by and mouthing "I love you" to them. It got to the point where people came out of the restaurant just to watch us out sexy eachother. We had a crowd of about 5 couples outside watching us when I pulled off the unthinkable. I walked normally in front of the window and when I got halfway across I turned to the window and ripped my shirt open, lowered my sunglasses and blew a kiss to some middle aged woman. How I kept a staight face, I have no idea. At that time we knew we should be leaving and so we walked away laughing hysterically. That was the end of my mustache experience and I must say that it was a good one. I will always remember those two days that I had a mustache, but who knows if it will ever happen again.

Here are our photo shoot pictures from when we shaved. The guy with the chops is my friend Greg (who started the mustache revolution). I look like Dog the Bounty Hunter. I will post more pictures soon. Enjoy.

When I was a senior in high school I wrote this paper so that I could finish my CIM in writing. My teacher told me to write a narrative about anything I wanted and this is that paper.

There are times in your life when you feel like dirt, or the low man on the totem pole, or you would rather be dead. Although my life has been jam packed with moments like this, the “cheese” stands alone. I was in the second grade and I had just started playing tee-ball. I was playing for the White Sox and it was my first year living in Bend, Oregon. I had not yet made very many friends and I was trying hard to do so, this occasion wasn’t much help.
It was a warm and sunny Saturday afternoon and I was at a local park, a few miles away from my brand new home. We were playing the Expos and leading the whole game. I was playing very well (I was quite the child athlete, which quickly wore off through my high school years), at the start of the fourth inning and my team was up to bat. After two outs I was on deck. Suddenly I felt a tingle through my whole body, but I just ignored it because I was next up to bat. I just had to relax and focus. I was anxious to go hit but the kid in front of me got out causing us to go out in the field. Before I grabbed my glove, I went over to my coach and asked if I could go to the bathroom but he smugly told me, I needed to hold it and go out into the field. Now, I wanted to kick him in the balls but my mom told me to respect all adults, so I grabbed my Ken Griffey Jr. replica glove and headed out to first base.
As soon as I reached first base my pea sized bladder was filled with urine. Before you can even begin to understand the hell I am going through, you should know that the difference between tee-ball and regular baseball is that the ball is always hit into play because if you strike out on pitches they bring out the tee to hit from. Because of this, each inning is like a half of an hour because second graders can’t catch a baseball let alone throw one.
I was manning my base and patiently waiting for rain, a forfeit, or a sudden death of one of the players so I could run off the field and treat myself to a relaxing urinary release into the fine port-a-potties that were generously provided for us. I tried to get my mind off the pee by thinking about the game but the longer it took for us to get someone out, the nearer I was to turning into a human water balloon.
Then, I thought to myself, what if I just let out a little bit of pee so that I wouldn’t have to go as bad? So I put my plan into action and released a sparse amount of the warm yellow liquid. Because I was wearing a cup the pee was caught in it and no one could see. I was home free. I soon realized that it is very difficult to stop peeing after your body has had the euphoric relaxation of this calming act of urination.
My mind went into a full panic mode and I started thinking of how I can get out of this without being the laughing stock of the entire second grade. I thought of the most foolproof plan to save my life and make myself not look like an idiot. With my plan ready for action I started releasing the rest of my pee. As the urine flowed down my leg and penetrated my extra small athletic supporter and my gray polyester pant fortress, I put my genius plan into action.
I let my tears flow like a garden hose, I cried like I was on the verge of death because if I cried then people wouldn’t laugh they would just feel sorry for me. With my glove in hand and first base island and a sea of pee beneath me I walked of the field and went into the big green port-a-potty and finished my business and my mom took me home to get me cleaned up.
The moral of my story is: don’t listen to adults when it comes to a seven year old’s bladder. I have had so many embarrassing moments in my life but I would re-live them all in one day if I could have this moment in time erased forever. I don’t know what the score was or whether we won or not, but I do know that when you have to pee it is better to use a bathroom than your pants.

I finally figured it out. I am back in business. It took me like two months to figure out how to sign into my blog and now I am back. I don't have anything funny that I can think of telling you all about, but I will update you on my situation. I have been going to Westside Church and while the sermons aren't the greatest, I really like what they are about and I really like the people. I have met a lot of new people and mom was happy to find out that many of them are girls. The COBO team that I coach won league last weekend and we have playoffs in two weeks. I have now officially never got less then first in any COBO league thing (2-time regular season champions and soon to be 2-time playoff league champions). I will start coaching a COBO all-star team in March with coach Reid. We are supposed to go to Reno, California, and other places in and out of state. This team is really fun because they are so good and they work hard and do really well together. I am helping with a children's ministry at church where we take kids from poorer neighborhoods in Bend and bring them to church and hang out with them, feed them dinner, and have a message, then we take them home. It is pretty cool. Chris and I may be getting the sweetest new roommate ever, his name is Joey and he one of the youth pastors at Westside. He is hilarious and he used to be fat and then he lost like 80 lbs and now he is skinny as a rail. He is the man. I think that is it for now. I will try to remember a funny story that I had, but I forgot it. I also need to post this paper I wrote my senior year in high school that was a CIM paper that I got a rediculously high grade on. It was about when I was in second grade and peed my pants in a baseball game, my teacher said it was one of the best narratives she has ever read and she has been teaching a while. Get pumped.

I know it has been a while since I have posted anything, but you are going to have to wait a little bit longer. I am going through a huge trial with Laura right now and we are currently not communicating in any way because she wants to get her walk on the right path and really figure out if I am the one for her. I am very proud of her for making this adult decision and being so mature about it, I just don't know why I can't be a part of helping her in her walk, but I am still impressed with her maturity. When I have been reading my Bible since she broke up with me, God has been showing me (for example) "if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us - whatever we ask - we know that we have what we asked of him." 1 John 5:14-15. I have been shown verses that tell me that if I am putting God first than he will give me what I ask of him and if you haven't guessed, I have been asking for Laura. I know that Laura is the woman for me and God has been showing me that over the past couple of months. I have been praying that God will get her back on the right path and that he will show her clearly the decision she should make. I would really appreciate it if you would pray for us because we both desperately need it. I will let you all know what happens when she talks to me again and I will let you know what she decides. Thank you.