Snakes? No way. Dad said to put some story about snakes on my blog, but I hate snakes more than anything. Snakes are the scariest thing on the planet. I couldn't see "Snakes on a Plane" because I can't see a snake without peeing my pants. Why are snakes so scary? Many reasons. Satan was a snake when he tempted Adam and Eve, Satan brought sin to the earth, God hates sin, therefore God hates snakes. Secondly, snakes have no legs. Things without legs aren't supposed to move unless they are in water. I can't think of any other animal that has no legs and can move on land, that alone scares the crap out of me. Third, snakes eat stuff whole. If a snake ever gets near me, I will kill myself because i am not spending the whole day in a snakes stomach. There are much better things to do with your day then spend it in the stomach of a snake (like kill yourself). Lastly, snakes have venom. Snakes are so scary that they kill you, but you stay alive and get to think about dying for a couple of hours before you actually die. Is there anything scarier than snakes? No.

I am watching Fox News with my roommates and they are saying that Osama Bin Laden is dead! It said that he is dead from a water-borne illness (typhoid) and France reported him dead (ha ha, France). They say that it isn't official, but France said it so it has to be true. I find it hard to believe that the guy who we have been trying to find for six years has just died all of a sudden. If it takes you six years to not find someone, how are you ever going to know that he is dead? Are his henchmen going to send a death certificate to the president? It doesn't matter if he dies or not because someone else will take over their diabolicle (hooked on phonics?) plots and plans. Does it matter if he is dead? No, but maybe North Korea will let us borrow some of their friendly nuclear weapons to scare off Bin Laden's men.

My sister was driving in downtown Seattle on wednesday and saw a homeless person. She didn't see just any homeless person, she saw a clever homeless person. He sat on the corner with a sign that read, "Father killed by ninjas, need money for karate lessons." I defy anyone to find a funnier homeless person. He should be writing for SNL, not sitting on a street corner. He probably makes more tax free scratch than I will make when I become a baller math teacher. It's funny because it's true.

After my math 256 class (applied differential equations) on monday morning, I went to the student bookstore to purchase the books that were required for my upcoming classes. I went to the back of the bookstore and picked up my math and biology classes and got in line to pay for them. When I got to the front of the line, the workstudy student working the front desk called me up. She took my books and said "will this be cash, credit, or debit?" I told her "debit" and I handed her my debit card. She then said "I am going to need to see some I.D." So I reached into my wallet and grabbed a driver's liscense and handed it to her. She looked at the debit card, then at the I.D., back at me, back at the liscense, back at the debit card, then handed the I.D. back to me and swiped my debit card. When she handed the card back to me, I realized that I did not hand her my I.D., but the fake I.D. I found at work one day. Normally someone would be happy that their fake I.D. was a success and go out and get wasted. I on the other hand was on the verge of peeing my pants because my I.D. is not of a teenage guy, it is of a 51 year old lady. 5' 4", 150 lb. Nancy Jones was the person on my fake I.D. and I only used it as a joke with my friends and I would say "hey, have you seen my fake I.D." and then hand it to them and they would just think I was a moron. The girl at the front desk not only didn't notice that I was 6' 3", 185 lb. 19 year old dude, it didn't bring up a red flag when she saw that the name on the I.D. didn't match the one on my debit card. Either this girl is so dumb that thinks that you only need to check an I.D. to see if they are from the right state, or she thought that I was mentally retarted and I go around town buying things with an expired I.D. that is so far over the edge rediculous that no one in their right mind would have to look at it for more than two seconds to know that it wasn't mine. I then left the store and proceeded to call my sister to share with her a story that could only happen once in a lifetime (a lifetime of an idiot kid who thought it would be a good idea to keep a fake I.D. in the same place as his actual I.D.). Dad, I hope you enjoyed that and it was worth the wait for you.

Aaaahhhh... My first post, it feels good. I know my family has been anticipating this for days and now the wait is over. I started this because I have important stuff to say and everyone needs to hear it. Until I get my own T.V. show or radio show, I have to settle for this. Grammar and proper punctuation is for fat kids and I don't like it, so if you have something to say about the way I write, keep it to yourself. I know there is a lot of hype from my two fans (my dad and sister), but just be patient because I am just getting used to anyone paying attention to what I have to say. So sit back, relax, and listen to what I have to say.