YODIO!!!

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"Shut up white boy!"

This was what I heard out of a "white boy" while I was reffing intramural flag football earlier this week. This statement bothered me. I don't care that white people are dressing like they are "black" or even that they use ebonics and say stuff like "for shizzle" (even though it is really stupid when they do), but it seems a little odd that someone would say that

I have noticed that white people have been saying racist things about their own race. When a white kid calls another white kid a "cracker" or "white boy", does he actually think he is black? Or does he sincerely hate his own race? I can't figure it out. I love rap music and black culture as much as the next guy, but I don't hate white people because of it.

Are there actually people that are so ignorant that not only are they racist, but they don't even realize that they are racist against themselves? I don't really know where I am going with this. It is just crazy to think that some people change and other people change so much that they stay the same. That doesn't really make sense, but whatever.

I have just realized how crazy the world officially is. I am sitting in my Native American History class which I dread every Friday. It is a 3 hour class that is only on Friday because our teacher lives and teaches in Eugene. This week, he couldn't make it over so he is teaching us through a live feed on a t.v. and web cams. He can see and hear us and we can see and hear him. I strategically placed myself over by the door where his web cam can't see what I am doing. He is talking about who knows what. I have been checking my e-mail, fantasy teams, facebook, stocks, etc. I am getting credit for being here and participating while I have not done any of those. I am here, but not really. Why am I not paying attention? Other than this being horribly boring listening to this lecture, the notes are online. Why do I have to be here?

My professor: "Any other thoughts?"

Whole Class: Silence

Some fat guy 10 seconds later: "Well isn't corn the biggest crop among Native Americans?"

I am pretty sure that is racist.

I am one of nine people on their computers right now and I don't see anyone in Microsoft Word taking notes. I see two of them on facebook and another on her Limewire downloading Bob Marley.

Another thing that I don't understand is why I am taking a Native American History class when I am going to teach math. I know you need history to learn from other people's mistakes, but I think that I already know not to trust people I don't know (especially rich white people).

I can't believe that some day kids in my classes are going to think these same things about my class. It is kind of disappointing.

It has been just over 11 months since I have written anything and I figured that if I don't read my brother and sister's blogs, I might as well make them read mine. Actually Sean Dart made me start writing again. I couldn't let a guy that I coached show me up in any way, even though he already passed me up as a basketball player a while ago. Not a lot has changed from when I last posted, other then my new found love for 90210. There were so many things I was mad about over the last 11 months: The new Indiana Jones movie (thanks for covering that South Park) and the guy from "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" on the MTV VMA's (It makes you rethink voting for Barack if a person like that would do it) just to name a few. I also have a lot to be thankful for: A girlfriend that likes sports (and beer) and it is football and almost basketball season. I will try to write somewhat consistantly and think of some funny stories to tell, so my sister stays happy. Sorry it took so long.

As you all know, I have started coaching the freshman basketball team at MountainView. The last two years I was coaching middle school COBO for Mountain View. On the Sunday before my first practice, Coach Reid asked me to come to COBO tryouts and pick the 6th grade team because the 6th grade coach was out of town and couldn't do it. So I went in on Sunday afternoon and ran tryouts and I could clearly tell which 12 guys should be on the team. I went over it with the 8th grade coach and he agreed that it was right. I went and told Reid that I had it down to 12 and I asked him if he wanted me to read off the list to the kids or if he wanted to do it. He told me that I could do it, but he told me to make 100% sure that I had my list perfect so I didn't read off any wrong and give someone the impression that they made it when they didn't. So I checked my list like ten times to make sure it was right and then went up in front of the kids to read off the names. Right before I did, Reid came up and said that he wanted to point out one kid that made the team (side story: I have been working with this kid Alex Burton during the summer and fall and he got cut from last years team and wanted to make it this year. He improved a ton and is one of the top 5 or 6 guys on the team this year.). He talked about how Alex got cut last year and wasn't even close to making it and how he put in a lot of work and got way better. He then announces the name Alex Burton and points to this kid Dominic. Now, this wouldn't have been a problem if Dominic made the team, but he was the complete opposite. He made the team last year and we cut him this year. Coach Reid realized it was the wrong kid and pointed to Alex, but Dominic still thought he made the team. He had me come up and read off the names of the kids who made it and Dominic started balling. He ran over to his mom and she chewed out Coach Reid. It was hilarious! In a "wow I feel bad for this kid, but Reid did exactly what he told me not to do" kind of way. That is my first of many basketball stories yet to come.

Mom, I haven't posted here in a while because my life was boring and now it is less boring. Elizabeth got mad and me and freaked out, so I had to write something to keep her happy. I started school yesterday and I am taking 3 math classes and an evolution class. I know what you are thinking about the 3 math classes and it is going to be sweet. I have like 5 people in all of my classes and I just sit around and listen to them act like they are really smart and get shut down by the professor. I just sit and laugh. I wrote about evolution before and that will be interesting for me to be in that class with a bunch of people who think that we came from black holes. I don't think the class will be about black holes, so that is why I am in it. I will be able to listen to how things evolve because it is obviously fact, but I will have a few days where I want to shoot myself in that class. I started my new job today at the gym at COCC. I worked a 3 hour shift and worked for literally 15 minutes. I sit around at a desk while people come and get towels from me and ask me random questions that I pretend to know the answer to. I get paid $9.20 an hour to do nothing, it is my dream job. I wish I didn't need to be in school to have this job becuase I would drop out of school and turn it into my career. I haven't heard anything about the freshman coaching job as far as applying and interviewing, but I have had some random people that would only know from talking to Reid that have said that they heard that I was doing it, so I feel better about that. I know that wasn't entertaining like it is supposed to be, but I thought you guys might like to know.

I was flying home from California today (on an airplane, I don't know what else I would be on, but I don't want to lose anyone) after visiting my girlfriend Sean who many people who read this do not know and we can talk about it later if you are interested. I went into the lavatory while we were in flight. I go in and turn around to lock the door and notice that there is a sign on the door that says "Any tampering of smoke detector will result in a $2200 fine" or something along those lines. Then I look down a little bit further and it says "There is no smoking on this plane" and little pictures of cigarettes with a slash through them. Then I look down a little bit further and there it was, right before my eyes...a slot for your cigarette butts. Perfect! Why are the airlines telling these addicts not to smoke, but providing them with everything they need to do it (ventilation system through the toilet and an ash tray). It is like giving a crack addict a pipe and telling him not to smoke, when chances are he has crack on him. I am not mad or anything because I don't really care, but is there honestly a reason for that? I am home safe now and after the cigarette in the lavatory I am way more relaxed, but I just thought that everyone should be aware of the culture we live in.

Last Sunday, Pat and I were driving to Larkspur (this park on Reed Market that we play basketball at sometimes). I was driving on 27th (45 mph) and I got to that light behind Safeway and was at the crosswalk before I realized that the light was red. Not only that, but there was a car in the intersection. I don't know why I wasn't paying attention to the road because I wasn't messing around with the radio or on my phone, I just spaced out I guess. Anyway, as soon as I realized the light was red I slammed on the brakes and cranked the wheel to the right. I started sliding sideways right at the other car and I was about 5 feet away from it when I took my foot off the brake and swerved out of the way. I ran straight up onto a curb and missed a light pole by about 5 feet. As soon as I realized what had happened Pat said, "hey, there is a cop behind you." I figured that my life was over and that the cop would cite me for 10 different things and I would be in debt for years. I pulled into the Safeway parking lot and the cop pulled in behind me. He asked me for my license and registration and talked to me for a second and then went to his car. He comes back with a citation for running a red light for $250! That is it! Talk about being blessed, I almost killed myself and two other people, totaled my car and someone elses, and got cited for thousands of dollars in fines. I came away with a ticket for $250 that the cop said I should be able to get diversion school for. Can you believe that? It was insane. I still can't believe it.

As some of you know, I went to Ashland/Medford this weekend for a 3-on-3 basketball tournament with my roommate Chris' friends Tim and Eddie. We had two games on Saturday and after the two games we were pretty hungry, so we went to Senor Sams (that is supposed to be in spanish). Eddie said that I should eat the "Biggest Burrito" that they serve there because if you eat it all, they give you five dollars back if you eat the whole thing by yourself. It sounded like a challenge that I was up to, so we both ordered it. Then Tim said that if I ate a large Cold Stone Creamery ice cream along with the burrito, that he would give me another $5. I rarely back down from a challenge, so I was aiming high. When I ordered my burrito, the lady started putting it together and it was two large tortillas next to each other with meat, cheese, lettuce, beans, salsa, sour cream and rice packed in so that she couldn't even shut the burrito. She put it on a huge platter that was about a foot and a half and the burrito went from end to end of it and it was probably 10 inches around. She said that it was the size of two and a half normal burritos from there and they are pretty big. Eddie finished his in about 15 minutes, it was incredible, the thing just disappeared. Right after he finished, he headed into the bathroom because he thought that he was going to throw up. I was trying to get it down as fast as possible so that I could finish it before my mind realized that I was full. Apparently I have poor eating skills because I had trouble getting the food from my plate to my fork to my mouth. It took me about 25 minutes and to my surprise, I wasn't full. I ate like a 6 lb burrito and I felt fine, so I said "let's go to Cold Stone." We went over there and I at a large peanut butter ice cream with peanut butter cups in it and finished it with no problem. After I was done, still probably could have eaten another regular burrito. I was in a zone. That experience made me rethink my life and I realized that my real calling in life is to be a professional eater. I ate that much food without any training (and I haven't been eating a lot lately anyway) and I didn't feel sick, that is a gift. I am quitting school and work so that I can work on my speed and technique. I would appreciate support from all of you in my endeavor.

I know that all of you guys know about the Cougar Pageant. Jake won it his senior year and I am sure that I lost to Simon by the smallest of margins when I was in it (I mean come on, I did "Thriller"). I went to it this Thursday with Jeff and Pat. I sat next to Lori, Ashley, and Alyssa Crawford (Shawn was at basketball). They are all doing well, but that is not the good part. They started out with some slide shows of contestants and Colman had me in his slide show, so he should have won right there, but no. Emily McMahon's little brother Pat was in it and he was next up in the talent segment and the MC said that he heard that Powerline was going to be here. I almost pissed myself because I knew it was going to be sick. They opened up the curtains and Pat has his back to the crowd and is wearing a yellow jump suit. Then "I 2 I" comes on and he turns around and is wearing these sick red sunglasses and proceeds to dance amazingly to the song while lipsyncing(?) to it. His moves were incredible, but then I heard the music change and I was wondering what could possibly be better than what he was dancing to. It was "Everybody" by the Backstreet Boys and two girls came out and danced with him in sync perfectly to the dance sequence in the actual music video, only they switched it a little and it was better. I almost crapped myself. Then the music changed again and it was "It's Gonna Be Me" by NSYNC! Then they do the dance from that video perfectly! It was the most amazing thing I have ever seen, I wish I had it on video so that I could watch it on my computer every day. I am going to try to put the actual music videos on this, but if it doesn't work you should find them on you tube. The dance from "Everybody" is at about 3:45 and "It's Gonna Be Me" is at like :45. I wish that you all could have been there, if you don't believe me than ask Mom.
"Everybody"-http://youtube.com/watch?v=vM0ALaY7X-Q
"It's Gonna Be Me"-http://youtube.com/watch?v=v7yxpTvvB9U